New Year's Resolution

It’s the day to make our New Year’s Resolutions, a plan to improve ourselves, to set laudable goals. I’ve done it many times.

And yet, it seems to me that all of my resolutions have tended to evaporate into thin air by the end of January.

I finally gave it up.

Why is it so hard to keep New Year’s resolutions well and alive until December? Could it be that 365 days is just too long a time?

It might be easier to set a short time frame and tackle small tasks. To test my theory I made an unorthodox New Year’s resolution today:

In 2017, every Sunday I shall make a resolution for the coming week. It will be a small task that I can easily accomplish. After all, it’s more fun to succeed. And I want to keep doing it all year, maybe again the following year. Just to make sure I won’t forget I've marked my calendar with a reminder, “make resolution.”

I’m already anticipating the satisfaction of each weekly accomplishment: to clean out a drawer, discard ten garments for the Goodwill, walk a mile five times that week, read a Spanish book, plan and invite guests for a dinner, or do some project I’ve put off.

True, they are easy tasks, but imagine the joy to get each one accomplished — effortlessly — but one every week.

Happy New Year,

Rosi

Happiness

Who doesn’t long for happiness?  

All of us do.

Some see happiness in the promise of a raise or in the winnings of the lottery. Some fancy a new wardrobe, others a shiny Tesla. Some visualize traveling to distant shores. Some dream of finding the perfect mate who will shower them with everlasting happiness.

Some do indeed reach their goal.

But how long did their happiness last?

Maybe higher costs sapped their raise? And the lottery funds? Were they gone within the year? A new wardrobe’s novelty is bound to fade in time, and so does the newness of a Tesla. Our travels to distant shores may bring us joy galore, but eventually we’ll be home again.

What then?

Maybe the perfect mate is the answer. Yet life is like a river, it keeps rolling along, keeps changing, is unpredictable. Can you maintain your happiness and make it last throughout the ups and downs of daily life?

The answer may lie in the essence of happiness.

Happiness is something personal. It is something that we ourselves create — that we plant and cherish deep within ourselves. We cannot find it in the outside world. Only when we enshrine it in our heart and soul can we be masters of our happiness and sustain it.

It may be an arduous task to rid our mind of all that is incompatible with happiness.  Feelings of hatred and revenge are its archenemy. Nor can we acquiesce to jealousy or being fraught with desire. Happiness withers when exposed to mean and petty thoughts, just as temper and impatience gnaw at its foundation.

When we have shed these odious burdens, happiness will quietly take root and blossom.

What then is happiness?

Happiness is being grateful for being alive, for appreciating what we have.  Happiness is being content with our lot, and accepting our friends and relations the way they are, with all their faults and all their blemishes—we have them too.

Happiness is accepting ourselves. When we do, we can love and accept anyone else.

Until next time,

Rosi

Beyond Gloom & Doom

Whenever I listen to the news or read the newspaper, gloom inundates my mind—nothing cheerful, nothing uplifting. News about terror, war and corruption, news about our causing alarming decimation of other species and momentous pollution of our planet, or about earthquakes, floods and fires. Man against man, man against beast, man against nature, and nature against man. Nothing but gloom and doom.

I reach for a piece of chocolate to chase away the blues and decide to walk to the store.

A neighbor waves a friendly Good Morning. A little boy holds the door for me—what kindness in one so young! The sky is blue. Overhead, a plane takes travelers to distant destinations. Below, flowers sparkle in the sunshine. My spirits lift with joy.

As always when I enter a grocery store, I marvel at the abundance of fruit and food. I grew up in war-torn Europe, when food was severely rationed. People were pitifully thin.

I remember my overwhelming amazement when I had my first American meal, succulent roast beef—more than a month’s ration—a baked potato, butter and corn. We did have potatoes—that’s what we lived on —but there was no butter or cream or anything else. For my first dessert in America I chose an orange—I vaguely recalled once having seen one. I knew nothing about ice cream.

Today I’m looking for an orchid for my brother. “Long lines,” I mention to the young woman in front of me. It is Saturday. “You’ve got only one item?” she asks, looking at my plant. “Do go ahead of me,” she offers.

I thank her for her kindness, but decline, seeing her little son. “I bet you’re eager too to get back into the sunshine,” I say. He smiles. We chat amicably about this and that and before we know it, we reach the checkout stand.

I walk home with a smile, glad to realize again that most individuals are kind, far kinder than the media realizes. I mentally survey my friends and acquaintances and find that they all have admirable traits: it may be kindness, joie de vivre or integrity, knowledge, special skills or a good sense of humor. It’s rare that I run into a person who’s devoid of a worthy trait.

It is NOT a world of gloom and doom, I conclude, but a world of infinite variety. And, gratifyingly, we are free to choose our focus and attitude. By doing so we create a world of our own making.

Until next time,

Rosi

“I feel overwhelmed thinking of my Family’s Visit” by Guest Author Alison Poulsen PhD

When facing a family visit, people often have ambivalent feelings, wanting to make everyone happy, yet dreading the work and potential personal conflicts that loom ahead.

Expectations

You may feel obligated to put everyone up at your house and prepare all the meals because you think that’s what is expected of you. While giving to others can be deeply fulfilling, it’s best to give at a level where you can do so wholeheartedly and lovingly rather than resentfully. You don’t want to slip into martyrdom.

Instead of succumbing to what you think is expected, decide what you are willing to do and state so up front.

If, for example, you are happy to prepare one meal, graciously invite everyone for that meal. “I invite you all for dinner on Friday night. On Saturday, we can go out,” or “You’re on your own.” “You can pick up your favorite breakfast groceries at the store down the street.”

People like to know what is expected in the way of itinerary, sleeping arrangements, kids’ rules, differing holiday traditions, and dogs. If you clarify expectations and don’t promise too much, you can be giving without becoming exasperated and resentful. When you communicate clearly ahead of time, people are less likely to be disappointed because they understand the game plan and your expectations.



Saying “No.”

If your relatives or friends tend to ignore your requests, hints, and desires, or are generally unpleasant, then there’s no need to accommodate them with meals or housing, unless you are willing and able to live up to Mother Theresa’s philosophy: “People are generally irrational, unreasonable and selfish. Love them anyway.”

You can say “no” while still communicating warm-heartedly. For example, “That’s not a good weekend for us to have visitors. We would love to see you though if you come into town. Call us and we’ll meet for coffee/a drink/lunch.”

by Guest Author Alison Poulsen PhD

Paris — War & Peace

There was a time when a country had clear-cut allies and enemies. Today the enemy may be walking down our street and no one would know.

There was a time when we feared the atomic bomb and total destruction, and we carefully monitored countries with nuclear capabilities.  Today nuclear power has moved to the backseat, because anything can happen anywhere, anytime, simply with a gun you buy around the corner.

There was a time when we could savor the brief periods of a country’s peace. Today peace has become an illusion that can change in an instant.

Today hundreds of thousands of Syrians are inundating the Western World, 800,000 Syrians in Germany alone. Meanwhile ISIS, which Wikipedia defines as the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, is spreading and increasing its terror.

“Allah Akbar,” meaning “God is great,” yesterday’s killers shouted in Paris. After all, the Quran commands, “When you meet the unbelievers, smite their necks.” Verse 47:4.

Would a God put us on Earth just to kill each other?  I doubt it. Yet all religions, Christianity included, have fought endless wars in the name of their God.

  

The old Bard was so wise when he uttered four hundred years ago: “What fools these mortals be!”

Until next time,

Rosi

The Pros and Cons of Condo Living

Buy a house or buy a condo?

During the last year or two, prices of homes have greatly increased, more so than the cost of condominiums. Not surprisingly, condos are starting to attract more attention.

Living in a condo has many benefits. You need not mow the lawn or worry about roof repairs. You may have access to amenities that otherwise you might not be able to afford, such as a pool or a hot tub, a tennis court or a clubhouse. You needn’t worry about packages or newspapers at your front door that might announce to the world that you’re away on vacation.

Yet condo living has disadvantages too.

Consider your family—do you have children who might enjoy playing in a yard and benefit from being able to be noisy without having condo residents complain? How soundproof are the condo’s walls, floors and ceilings to protect you from the noise of others? You may have neighbors above, below, on either side and across the hall from you. You may want to consider meeting your future neighbors before you sign the contract.

How about the dogs and cats you own? They may need a yard, unless you’re able and willing to walk them whenever necessary. Most condos have rules concerning animals. For obvious reasons, many associations won’t allow pets on Condo Common Grounds. This brings to mind that all condominiums have House Rules and CC&Rs that require careful study before you buy. You want to make sure that you can live with all Rules, Conditions and Restrictions. Because all violations are fined.

In some California cities, as in the fair City of Alameda, you may no longer smoke, not even on your balcony or inside your own Condo bedroom. The reason is that condominiums and apartments are considered community housing. Your cigarette smoke might affect other residents. In other words, cigarette smoking is viewed with hostility and therefore is strictly taboo.

It may surprise you that the majority of complaints that our condo manager receives are no longer about dogs but about some hapless neighbor, who is smoking. Of course, if you live in a separate, single-unit house, you can smoke as much as you desire, even in the City of Alameda. By the way, smoking fines are not cheap. Alameda City Law and our condo association are imposing a fine of $100 for the first offense, $250 for the second, and a hefty $500 fine for the third violation.

House Rules that regulate noise are vital for harmonious community living. It may mean No Noise after 10:00 pm or before 7:00 am in the morning — as for example no loud music, TV, or using a vacuum or washing machine. And of course no barking—barking is usually restricted throughout the day. But how do you explain that to your dog? Actually, shock collars and citronella spray work very well and don’t harm the dog if used appropriately.

Now to the financial aspect of owning a condo. To begin with, it may be less expensive to buy a condo. However, condos require the payment of monthly Dues. The association pays for upkeep, management, repairs, replacements, legal costs and amenities. Expect the dues to increase on an annual basis.

Occasionally, an association will levy an Assessment needed for the unexpected. However, unforeseen costs can also hit owners of houses.

Finally, ask yourself a personal question. Are you an outgoing person, who enjoys the close proximity of others, who smiles if the neighbor’s children laugh or scream, who manages to close his or her ears if the lonely dog above you barks or whines unhappily? Or are you a person who deeply treasures peace and quiet and cherishes the idea that your home is your castle?

The list of pros and cons is long. Weigh all aspects carefully; it is worthwhile to take the trouble.

Until next time,

Rosi

Europe's Future

Could European culture vanish into the mist?

Impossible. Europe abounds in culture. Its long history and its people of imagination, industry and creativity have fashioned a stunning diversity of art and architecture, thought and customs.  Its roots trace back to the ancient Greek and Romans, but also to the Muslim world that greatly advanced its science. Religion, too, shaped many of its customs, and so did the climate.  Customs in the frigid regions of the North differ vastly from those in the sunny South.

Could this change one day? Could Europe become an Islamic Continent? The Week cites persuasive facts. Muslims are streaming into Europe — 40,000 into Germany on one single weekend, 800,000 to 1.5 million more to come. When on a single day 9,380 asylum seekers crossed the border into Hungary, the country declared an emergency. The large numbers of refugees are simply overwhelming. Each and every one must be registered and provided with housing and food, medicine and money, education and support, likely for years to come. In addition, the birth rate for Muslims is one of the highest, while Europeans have one of the lowest.

Presently, most refugees are coming from Syria. But ethnic violence in many parts of the Middle East and Africa are bound to bring yet bigger waves of refugees. “Welcoming tens of thousands of asylum seekers is one thing; 10 million is another,” writes Walter Russell Mead in The Wall Street Journal.

Why is this an issue? Millions of Europeans have fled to America and become loyal citizens.

The difficulty may lie in the ability to integrate. When Europeans of diverse religions immigrated to this country, they were able to assimilate into the American culture. Europe and America have a constitutional secular government under the rule of law. A Muslim, however, is subject to Sharia law, which, according to Wikipedia, “is the basic Islamic legal system derived from the religious precepts of Islam, particularly the Quran and the Hadith.” It governs all aspects of a Muslim’s life, social, religious and political.

After World War II, when most German men had fallen or become invalids, thousands of Turks entered Germany to help rebuild the country. They remained in Germany and still live there today. Seventy years later very few have assimilated. They have formed their own communities, attend their own schools and mosques, practice Sharia law and maintain strict separation from their host country.

The Quran frowns upon believers who turn away from the Words of Allah. “O ye who believe, do not take the Jews and the Christians for friends,” it warns in verse 5:51, “they are allies only to each other.”  The word Islam originates from the Arabic islåm submission, from aslama submit to God.

In 1946, after a short period of French rule, modern Syria obtained its independence. Yet its history is long and colorful. Since pre-Roman times, Syria was populated by Arabs, Jews and Christians. Emperor Constantine had legalized conversion to Christianity in the fourth century when he moved his capital from Italy to Byzantium and renamed it Constantinople.

Around the year 632, shortly after the death of Muhammad, during the great period of Arab expansion, the Muslim Caliph Abu Bakr conceived of an ingeniously idea to surprise and conquer the Byzantine army that protected Syria. He took a shortcut through the Arabian desert, marching his troops for two days without water—thus “unhinging” Syria’s defense.

For roughly seven hundred years prior to the Muslim conquest, Syria has been primarily under Roman rule.

Then in 634, Syria became part of the Turkish/Ottoman Empire, which lasted for 623 years. It was one of the largest empires ever, extending over 2 million square miles. It stretched over three continents and controlled much of Southeastern Europe, Western Asia and Northern Africa. It ruled from 1299 to 1922.  

In many respects, so say historians, the Ottoman Empire was an Islamic successor to the East Roman or Byzantine Empire, which also had its capital in Constantinople and was one of the most powerful and long-lasting Empires, ruling over a thousand years.

Europe, an Islamic Continent? Something to think about.

Until next time,

Rosi