Anger

We all get incensed at times. Yet anger ages us faster than any other emotion.

Anger is often justified. Our friends may even encourage us to freely vent our feelings to relieve the stress anger causes.

Yet we’re better off not to stomp and shout. Our relief is only momentary, while the consequences can be long lasting. Besides, our anger can burst forth again whenever we recall the incident or the person who caused it.

Also, venting one’s anger can easily become a habit—not an attractive habit, and tough to break.

Worse, angry outbursts cause persons to lose control over their actions—they become dangerous not only to themselves but also to others. Imagine driving a car while in a rage. When we are furious we lose power and control to the person who caused the anger—often to the perpetrator’s great delight! It’s better to focus on the steps necessary to salvage the situation.

Don’t simply repress your anger either. Unwittingly, you may take it out on an innocent person, such as your spouse or child.

It’s better to find a way to deal with the underlying unfairness or unmet need. Recall the last incident that made you angry. Could you have handled it better? It’s often the same type of incident in different guises that triggers us. By practicing better ways of reacting we can change our behavior.

In some situations we want to consider what may have driven the other person to act the way he or she did. We are all human and far from perfect.

Often our anger is caused by a situation that is beyond our control—a canceled flight, an ugly dent in our parked car, heavy traffic when in a rush. Did our anger improve the situation? If not, recall Mark Twain’s wise words, “If we don’t learn to laugh about our troubles, we have nothing to laugh about in our old age.”

With my best wishes for a healthy and peaceful 2014,

Rosi